Happy new year!!!!

I hope this new year brings for us all ZILLION MORE joyous moments, moments to say cheers, moments to say thanks, moments to say congrats, moments to cry with joy, moments of tears with extreme laughter, moments of ultimate contentment, moments of awesome fragrance, moments of dreamt success going live, moments of best ever appreciation……..And every good will ever imagined!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR.....everyone.

It's easier to blame others for your own misery!!!!

I have done that myself and have seen others doing too- blaming others for their miserable situations. Lot of times our situations are result of the path we had chosen and our destiny but with intent to justify our deeds first thing we lean to do is to find flaws of others to blame for our misery. It's very hard to live with the guilt and be mad on our own self than others and I guess, that' leads to this blame others first phenomenon.

My ex boyfriend still blames me for breaking up with him and blames me for him to be very possessive and abusive to me during our relationship. This does not bother me at all because I have moved on far beyond that kiddish life but I wonder how easy it is to blame others and say that I was just being protective and caring for imposing crazy restrictions on you and for being abusive I had positive intent/frustrations for times I didn't follow his rule book. My heart just says after hearing all this after like zillion years- 'god bless your heart'.

Blaming others is easy and I know that for sure because at times I tried to blame lot of other things when aanya had died but the worst is to realize that more or less it was me who couldn't protect her and some unsure things I probably did untentionally which took her life and I know how killing it is to be blaming yourself vs others. Because you just don't know how to be mad at yourself or to forgive yourself or to heal the pain of being angry with your own self. Hence, I just think its good that all of those out there when blame others for their pain because by doing so they are more or less healing better and dealing with lesser pain than they can imagine if they would have realized how they are at fault too for leading into that situation.

Lots of luv to everyone out there....goodnight!

Trapped - a go ood movie to go away!

Saw trapped today, it's a thriller and would touch everyone especially if you have kids. There is nothing more imp for us more than our kids. I wonder how can god make us love someone so much. Our kids are our blood and flesh and may be its hormones that makes this bond beyond words. I remember when aanya had died, I had told doctor that I don't think I ll be able to love any other child like this. She said, no matter what you decide estrogen in you will make you live your child and that made me decide that ok, I need to plan again.

Anyways, look I was talking about movie and went in a all together diff direction. Well, this movie is about an asthma patient baby girl kidnapped and shows emotions of parents during the process and the fear. Really movies make you feel your problems are ok and usually take you away from your world and you come back with another vision added to your wallet. Am getting lately more and more passionate about watching movies. I take them as my time off/stress buster.

Well, time to go to bed. Goodnight everyone!

Movies......

Watching movies can be a great therapy especially since they take you to a different world, let you forget your stresss/pain/issues at least for sometime. I think a good engaging movie can be a good stress buster. Even I would recommend this therapy to grievers too. I remember when I had lost aanya (my daughter) I used to watch movies and at least for few hours I used to run away from tears as long as movies didn't show kids. Though back in first year of my loss, I used to hate watching the happy ending of each movie since I used to feel bad comparing it with my life.

But all aside, movies can take you away from stress/sorrows/anxiety. That's why I love watching movies especially the ones which are full of adventure or sci fi but always prefer at least 4star rating:-)

Some of my fav ones are- 51st dates, day after tomorrow, Sahara, the river wild, center of the earth, hangover etc..... Can keep on going. But now I got to go and put my son in bed.

Good night every and sleep tight with the best dreams ever:-)

Wish I could have heard you too....

Wish I could have heard you too....

For 9 months, you heard me blabber....

I so wanted to hear you too...

You tasted the spicy food I ate from my belly,

Didn't you want to taste my breast milk too....

I was so desperately keen to see you,

Didn't you wish to see me too.....

You heard me laughing, singing and crying,

I wanted to hear your first cry too....

You felt all my emotions and you always felt my stress,

Why didn't you let me feel your pain too....

I wonder where was I when you took your last breath,

What was I doing when you were in the Dieng stress...

I wish I could have heard you too......