Missing my mom on mother's day....

Dear Mom, Never wrote for you & here's a lil one for you...... Everytime I am unable to find something I kept somewhere I think of you Everytime I get tired and not in a mood to cook I think of you Everytime aanush does something more cute, I think of sharing with you. Off & on when make myself proud, I think of sharing the first with you  Everytime I feel sick, the first person I miss is you I miss the lunch box you packed everyday for me, I miss the way you used to use your hands to feed me, Miss the way you always woke up early for me, Miss the way you taught Hindi and algebra to me,  Miss the way you used to fight with me, Miss the way you used to complain to papa about me, Miss the most you always cooked my favorites for me.... Every time now I feel exhausted being a mom, I think of you.  Every time I feel lost in the world, unsure of the way, I think of you Though destiny has brought the distance & kept us apart but needless to say, you are always so close to my heart,  Am thankful to god that my mom is always there for me..... Love you always and you are the best mom for me....

you defined 'me' and 'everything else' to me.....

My lil angel ' Aanya'- you defined 'me' and 'everything else' to me..... I didn't know who I am till I grieved for you, I didn't know how much strength I have till I delivered you,  I didn't know my weaknesses either till I lost you, Didn't know what Bye or kiss means till I gave the goodbye kiss to you, I had no clue what life is till I started to experience the pain of losing you, Didn't really know what dead means either till a part of me died along with you,  I had no clue what being mom is either till I experienced your kick in me, Didn't know what denial means either till I experienced the emotional roller coaster ride in me.  Didn't know what motherhood feels like till I Decorated your room or started to shop for you,  Had no clue what world or people are either till I went through 'what I went through',  I had no clue what angels are either till you had send them to support me, Neither had much clue on what reality or destiny is either till I lost control of bringing back the life in you, Had no clue what happiness is till I realized what I had, when I had you. Got to know what really sadness means when I realized that there is nothing me or anyone can do to bring back you,  Didn't know what really struggle is till I started the the journey of bringing your sibling with the hope that I may get someone who may look like you,  Still remembering the lesson of what hope is when doctor didn't utter any word but lost the hope of finding the heartbeat for you, Learnt what really vicariously/imagination means when in my eyes open dreams imagined the growing you,  Learnt what hard means when experienced the hard challenge of not being able to stop tears for you, Learnt what empty means when I realized I had empty arms after losing you, Didn't know what money means either when learnt that there is nothing I can buy to replace / backfill the happiness of having you.  Though I am still learning as I grow and still far way to go,  But Yes, you defined the most of me and the most for me and you will always be alive not just in my heart but brain too as my dictionary for the most for me!  Love you always..... Your mom!