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I usually go with a very open frame of mind when I come across anyone. I don't go with preconcieved notions and/or any assumptions when I meet anyone. Some people feel that that I can be a friend to every tom, dick and harry. But unfortunately, thats not the case. There is noone who's tom dick and harry in my friends. Infact those who look common are one of the most amazing people many a times. I guess I tend to go with the optimistic thoughts and try and discover everyone gradually and in that process, for most of the people I feel great and sometimes I realise that my ethics and values don't go well with few. I definitely have got hurt as well because of my initial optimistic approach, since I realise at times later that I shouldn't have got my self emotionally attached to relationships which probably didn't deserve my time and love from the begining.
For me to respect and cherish my friendship with anyone somethings are very important:
1) That person should be first a good human being.
2) That person should have a good heart.
3) NOT SELFISH. Even if that person may continue to be a great and not selfish to me but if I get to see him/her extremely selfish and/or escapist even with anyone else, that turns me off towards them.
4) I hate to see when a friend can not stand for another in either good or bad times. Thats turns me off too.
5) When one person tries to take undue advantage of another, thats another one.
6) Cutting & ignorant towards anyone's feelings. I call it knowingly hurtful.
7) Faqueness. We all tend to be not completely same in and out. Thats understandable but when, when someone tends be faque....thats a no no.
8) Most Imp one....FULL OF YOURSELF! When I see someone so full of them as in who think they know all, not open to listen/learn/ consider any other option/opinion at ALL and only concerned about there thoughts, there liking etc. is a NOGO too.
9) His way or highway types most of the times, is another attitude that puts me off.
10) Not thankful as in never acknowledging other person's efforts or time is anothey thing that makes me step backward.
Well, i know in friendship there shouldnt be any conditions but my these thoughts are not just for for friendship these are simple ethics and values expectations for me to pursue and cherish my relationship and /or friendship. That being said, We all know who we are from inside and sooner or later the truth shines. And above all, we all are answerable to GOD!
Thanks for listening my thoughts....
Great Read Gunjan.
ReplyDeleteI exactly know what you mean by -My approach towards people.
I hope we all remember that nothing, not even relationship can be evaluated on a skill set or your perception .We all are human which gives us the right to form an opinion on one's behavior/action. When people say you are friends with every Tom Dick AND Harry,noone literally means that ,what they mean is -you might have the skill which most of us don't have to be friendly .Unfortunately ,what happens is when we think someone is there to kill us we get killed in many ways -IT'S definitely a perception of evaluating someone ,you can make someone the king in your thoughts and the same person can be a Devil .It's most of the time the way we analyze/perceive what/how they said .
I did like the way you described OR even made the 10 things which put you off from your friends .I think we are queen/king of our thoughts ,it gives us the right to believe what we think BUT we must remember most of the time what we think is how we perceive.
And, most of the time we make a vacuum of our thoughts which cause our destruction .
Keep the great work.
By the way, loved your descriptions :)
ReplyDeleteerror- i meant "our perception ",sorry still learning ,not a pro like you .I think i'll also do a blog post today .........